Im ok
by JNSRC
Summary: Sara us faced with a case that brings back memorys from her past that she would rather forget. Will she be ok?


"Sar? Open up the door sweetheart. Come on please. I just need to know your okay."

Sara sidle was sast huddled in the walk-in closet in her bedroom. The same place that she would hide in when she was a child.

_Once upon a time there was a girl  
In her early years she had to learn  
How to grow up living in a war that she called home  
Never know just where to turn for shelter from the storm  
Hurt me to see the pain across my mother's face  
Everytime my father's fist would put her in her place  
Hearing all the yelling I would cry up in my room  
Hoping it would be over soon _

She was six when she lost her virginity. It was on her birthday. The day had started off well enough. Her father had stayed out drinking the night before and it was unlikely that he would be home for a few hours. Her mother had hidden some decorations over the past few weeks in the run down shed at the end of the small garden. Early that morning she got up and put all of the decorations up in the frontroom. When Sara and Daniel came down she called them into the room. Sara's face lit up when she saw all of the decorations and the small present that her mom held in her hands.

"Happy Birthday sweetheart, heres your present" Her mother said.

It was her first ever present. Usually her birthday was ignored. Her father wouldnt waste his precious drinking money on a gift. She had learnt early on not to talk about her birthday. Her brother had spent a week in hospital the last time he had asked her father for a present.

Quickly she ripped off the paper to reveal a small picture of her with her brother Daniel and her mother sat on a park laughing that was taken the previous week when they had gone out while their father was passed out on the couch. She smiled again. They looked so happy in the picture.

Just then they heard the dreaded sound of a key in the lock.

Terry was home.

Laura sidle quickly jumped up and started to pull down the decorations. There would be hell to pay if Terry found out.

"What the fuck do you think your doing you stupid bitch." Terry screamed as he entered the front room.

"N-Nothing Terry, calm down darlin'" Laura stammered

"Calm down? Your telling me what to do now?" He screamed,his face contorted in rage.

"N-No sweetheart. Its just that its sara's birthday so i thought i'd give her a present." Laura knew she was in for it now.

"A present hey? why didnt i think of that" Terry said, looking at Sara.

"Yes honey, its not your fault you forgot. You have been busy." laura said becoming hopeful.

"Yes i have been busy. Making money. but i cant forget my daughters birthday now can i, come on Sara let me give you your present."

Terry dragged sara up the stairs and threw her onto the bed. Sara could hear her mother and older brother screaming on the other side of the door but couldn't understand why. Her daddy was about to give her a present. Terry grabbed the chair fromt he desk in sara's room and jammed it under the door knob to keep everyone out.

"Well Sara darling i'm going to give you the best present ever, i'm going to make you a woman"

Sara smiled. She was going to get her second present ever. The joy she was feeling soon morphed into confusion. Terry came closer to her bed and pulled his belt off. A split second later he brought it to her skin. Repetedly hitting her all over, drawing blood from everywhere he could reach.

_Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same  
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid  
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave  
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday  
And I'm OK_

Finally the beatings stopped. Sara opened her eyes and the room slowly came back into focus. She couldnt see him. Just as she thought it was over she heard him to her right. She turned her head and saw him un zipping his jeans. The next thing she knew he was on top of her. Touching her everywhere, ripping her clothes, kissing her, biting her,groping. Then he was inside her. She closed her eyes tight waiting for the pain to stop.

She spent her sixth birthday in hospital getting stitches all over her body. Telling lies on how she got them so she wouldn't be punished.

It became a routine. At least 3 times a month she was at the hospital getting various injuries sorted for the next 3 years. She knew the doctors knew what was happening but they never helped her.

_I often wonder why I carry all this guilt  
When it's you that helped me put up all these walls I've built  
Shadows stir at night through a crack in the door  
The echo of a broken child screaming "please no more"  
Daddy, don't you understand the damage you have done  
To you it's just a memory, but for me it still lives on _

By the time she hit 9 she was wishing she would die in her sleep. She didn't let anyone near her. She was the 'freak' at school. Always sitting by herself. Reading, studying,becoming detatched from everyone and everything. She thought her life couldn't get much worse, but it did.

_Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same  
And I still remember how you kept me so, so afraid  
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave  
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday _

Her brother was 6 years older than her. He was 15 when it happend. He was sitting in his room doing homework when he heard his Dad come home. He heard him go into his sisters room. He waited praying he would leave her alone for once. But he didn't. He heard the whimpers and lost it. This had gone on for to long. He grabbed his baseball bat and entered Sara's room. He got two hits in before his father grabbed the bat. Sara watched as her brother was beaten to death, frozen with fear.

It didn't even seem to bother Terry. He just turned round and finished off with Sara. Afterwards she lay next to her brother on the floor. Begging god for help. She didn't move til she heard her mothers shocked scream from the doorway. She quickly got up and followed her mother downstairs to the kitchen and for the second time in the space of 4 hours she saw someone die.

_It's not so easy to forget  
All the lines you left along her neck  
When I was thrown against cold stairs  
And every day I'm afraid to come home  
In fear of what I might see there _

That one day changed her entire life. Her family was ripped away from her by a monster. She lost her brother and her mother because of him, because they tried to protect her from him. Her brother beaten to death and her mother sentenced to life in prison for the murder of her Father.

She had thought she had put it behind her. She thought she had moved on. She had a new life, a great job, An amazing fiancé and a baby on the way, but the case had bought it all back to her. The similarities between the case and her life had been horrifying and she found herself having flashbacks throughout it all. As soon as it was wrapped up she had driven home and broken down. Hiding in her closet. Hiding from the monster that was coming for her.

"Sara, sweetheart, i'm going to unlock the door okay? It's just me honey."

Sara heard the sound of a key in the lock and whimpered. He was coming for her. She moved further into the corner keeping her eyes shut.

"Honey" He whispered kneeling infront of her. "It's okay honey he can't get you. Your safe. I promise. Come on sweety."

Sara slowly opened her eyes and gazed into his, feeling her heartrate slow down. She was safe. She was going to be fine. She slowly stood up and fell into his waiting arms.

_Bruises fade father but the pain remains the same  
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid  
Strength is my mother for all the love you gave  
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday  
And I'm OK  
I'm OK  
_

She had a new life now. She had everything to look forward to. She was okay.

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Sorry it's not the best but i heard the song on the radio and wrote it in 20 minutes. Drop a review please.

The song is by Christina aguilera - I'm ok


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